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Jackrabbit

by Lee Meadvin

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1.
Track 01 01:14
2.
Grayscale 03:22
you turned the contrast down to make the dark parts bright wearing away the edges until the teeth can't bite you can keep them soft for now but soon a hunger grows too keen and you can't eat those colors if they're coming through a screen but you'll try anyway and that doesn't feel great you tore your world apart to make the center hold eager to speak it better but then your tongue got cold you can keep it on ice for now but soon that heartache's got to eat you hold your heart to the fire but you quickly get cold feet and that doesn't feel good caught a signal from a flashing presence but you've got to make room for it one and zero don't both fit at once quick to give up the search for something you can't ignore heaven forbid a breakthrough that's what the screen is for you survived a brush with love and let the colors become faint but you run out of magic when you run out of paint 'cause it dries any which way and you can't bring it back
3.
Cookie Brain 03:00
dirt to dirt couldn't hurt you might as well it isn't likely that the quiet's coming back fill the space make it empty if you're lucky it might turn into a heart attack we know it makes the letters glow oh no oh no you let it go too far to ask out loud is love desire sugar rush dust to dust not enough and never was you'll be back for more it's not a race but it's crowded we don't wanna feed your hope unless you're feeling sure we know it's hard to make it go oh no oh no the words got tangled up the time it came and went so what the path of least resistance led the sweet tooth to his empty head imagine always wanting more the mindless me feckless to the gooey core get stuffed better luck this time
4.
super ego soccer fan you crack the whip in all of my wildest dreams bit the cyclic bullet then bit so hard it came apart at the seams got roundup for a weedy head too taxing to withhold what a perennial needs just when I think I've killed the bastards dead you scatter and my cup runneth over with seeds and so you grow again into me a wiry shadow boxing out the silence back on the ropes with his head in the past composure is sweet but the heart wants violence it's the only expression of need that lasts I miss that kind of feeling bad you made me out to be what I am and that's rough the lightest touch I ever had I should have known it couldn't possibly be enough I missed a boat that rarely comes and since then I've been thinking about it a lot but it's all the same now once it's a memory who cares if it happened or not and I don't need to care anymore a wiry shadow boxing out the silence back on the ropes with his head in the past compassion is nice but the heart likes violence it's the only expression of love that lasts your shadow made such a complex savior a climb towards the light on a ladder of doubt I haven't lost hope you'll return the favor it's the only way out the only way out it's the only way out the only way out
5.
how would I know if I were seeing in 3D a shadow at the door it got me back to now and I was happy but the void got bigger all kinds of distance spread before me and between the light got in somehow it just couldn't get out you wake up somewhere and the end gets closer you feel it strongest in the dark an endless affection for everything near you feel it strongest in the dark so why then is blindness the drop that you fear more than anything else in this crushing world I only go where my eyes have gone before the blind leading the blind a feather on the tide it feels so weightless but the truth is weirder you feel it stronger in the dark so why would you miss what you already lost you feel it strongest in the dark infinity comes at a terrible cost at a terrible cost
6.
did they used to wonder where the stars went in the day what a boring answer for sure why is the truth so boring why do I still wonder if you ever think of me that way anymore what a boring answer for sure why is the truth so boring when everything else in my head feels like lighting a fire you only ever gave me the briefest glance but it burnt me like a flash in the pan love is always hopeless so you're saying there's a chance if not I'm sorry but I don't understand is it all for nothing if I never make it out of the gate what a boring way to grow old why is it always like this why do I still wrestle with the light if I don't even know what it's for what a boring answer for sure why is the truth so boring why is the truth so boring why is the truth so boring not sure I even care anymore what a boring truth at the core
7.
Focus 01:42
why has it become so hard to focus you couldn't make that promise to yourself last for very long write a short song because it's easier get going just start
8.
bad head running from the morning sick fuck finding it boring it's only getting better if it's working the blank space blanker when it's lurking no way to tell if the ghost's still here it hasn't come up with a new idea the first one still seems a bit too dear still need the noise that makes it hard to hear the straight path forward seems a bit too clear what it the virtue of keeping it all together if spring melts the ice off and turns the ling to heather it doesn't take much but you still can't start if you wanna be together you should do your part the seeing man's friction is the blind man's art when the fire gets going it should pierce your heart bad time coming if a bad time came you still lack the appetite to lick the flame maybe that's prudence by another name what comes next if they're both the same what comes next if they're both the same what is the virtue of pulling the cinches tauter when spring melts the ice off and turns the rain to water and how do you go on finding it in the mirror when each day that passes draws the last one nearer a step to far is a step too near you don't have to go but you can't stay here you don't have to leave but you can't stay here
9.
i took the wrong lesson to heart fact-addled incandescence scratching in the dark got lost in paradise but feared it was filled with snakes shocked to have gotten it wrong still surprised by mistakes wouldn't have been so certain if I'd put the work in fooled by a flowerpot growing a weed long distance memory going to seed tried to keep my love and me apart but the pull was too strong and I was only strong at the start having my way with it wasn't the hell I thought shocked to have gotten it wrong but more shocked to get caught it should have been so simple but I didn't listen late to discover that fear's not a crime got a few years older and all I lost was time
10.
Jackrabbit 03:42
wasn't I always alone a jackrabbit counting out loud when you let me get close friction left out in the cold coveting warmth like the last man on earth or the first an old predilection wants not to be held or behold it's more like a scent or a taste in the mouth like I sampled your heart and got drunk I've always been a lightweight with wine wasn't I always alone a jackrabbit waiting outside while you talk on the phone softies love being on hold while you dish the dirt with a voice like a dialing tone with all due respect I'm in love but I'm not in denial if you've got a secret be bold I don't like surprises but I can't stand to wait I know it's a trap when you bait it with gold but I'll still come running 'cause you never needed bait at all something you can hold in your hand how could you lose track of where it went may you come to understand that letting it go is never an accident we all had our chances and chose you still know the motions but you can't keep them straight
11.
Freefall 01:52
you come alive with no room at the margins with nothing left you feel finally free you call my name with your hands in your pockets it's not enough but nobody told me there's never room to explore all your options it's best to love whatever will be you take some time but the truth never changes once it's enough you can have it for free

credits

released June 9, 2022

Produced, etc. by Lee Meadvin

Art by Camila Ortiz

Special thanks, with love, to ACW

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Lee Meadvin Brooklyn, New York

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