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Boy Story

by Lee Meadvin

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Eli Henry Goss
Eli Henry Goss thumbnail
Eli Henry Goss This is the story of a boy who learned something new and ran with it to the ends of the earth. When he circled back to where he started running he realized he had forgotten what he learned, but he remembers what he saw while he was running.

2/2.2 Favorite track: Modular Subdeb.
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1.
Looms 03:11
the thing is you reap what you grow you're afraid of the upturned root and rightfully so it seems bigger from far away you've found what you're looking for now convince it to stay you may have to struggle not good at letting go not good at letting go so it slips away and you are left with rope-burn on your hands
2.
wake up to a ten year day dream I'm a little young for a first time boy king caught in a kind machine skewing shape and color what's [indecipherable] new shoes new luck can't forgive the kid for what grew up on arbitrary magic wake up to a far-off fake scream I'm a little young for that first grown up thing caught in a kind machine losing faith in balance the gears turn 'round soundlessly again no charge for that new shoes send more can't forgive the kid what for blind faith in arbitrary magic (I couldn't get up for less) (wake up you fool the thread's grown thin it slips away I hoped it wouldn't but what's a girl to do)
3.
how much longer 'till I'm old how much longer 'till I'm sick of pleasure I dream of you I know I shouldn't but what's a girl to do I can't stop I can't stop I'm proud to be your kiss of death am I crazy am I crazy or does this feel like sex how much longer 'till I'm old how much longer 'till I don't need to hurt you anymore what's a girl to do how much longer 'till I'm sick and harmless how much longer can I touch your face for free I dream of you I know that's bad for me but worse much worse for you
4.
I swear I'm not the bad guy this time I know that to you I'm still the villain give up your holy war for a minute let's just talk let's just call off your dogs call off your dogs [etc.] I think it's time you made a new fist I can't go on being your stick and carrot and horse forever put down your painted shield put down your shield for a minute I know the kind of attention that you want and I know it doesn't feel too good when you don't get it on and on and on and on turns your head the gears give out and you are left with what you started with it isn't much I swear it's not my fault you feel this way I did everything I could and more do I have regrets of course I do who wouldn't giver taker call of your dogs call off your dogs [etc.] are you what they were trying to warn me about
5.
Spindle 01:58
6.
fly awake no sense in losing daylight born to please lucky for what shows up soundlessly back to sleep I want to live in a big house store all my linens in linens of their own what do I deserve what do I deserve safe dreams silk sheets wide eyes blink in stereo what am I owed what do I what do I deserve gift horse on the merry-go-round has a nice mouth what do I need
7.
same dream again again again same scene I starved upon the last time I looked up I looked up in vain again and again I return to the well too often sick for a fix I'm in love or mad like an addict I return to the well too often I return to the well too soon too soon because because because because [etc.] I need water I need water again again again again again again
8.
every day after school the boys come out of their shells calling out like crickets in the dark they browse like bookworms cotton dream wanna dance I wake up with candy underneath they seem sure that I'll like it but I don't touch that stuff I don't touch that stuff I caught a whiff from forty feet and then I'd had enough my kingdom for a sweet thing [...] what a simple world where you can reach out and touch things but with hands a sticky mess what's a girl to do grabby hands nice to meet you I'm all thumbs but willing to play nice I'll try anything once but I don't touch that stuff I don't touch that stuff I want it more than I can stand but that's just not enough I'd pull out all my hair strand by strand to get back to the girl who doesn't understand
9.
Last Hurrah 03:35
made a lot of progress tripping on your own feet thank god for indecision make tracks at your own pace who would have warned you made a lot of money your sinecure's sure sweet those groans must mean it's funny throw stones on your own time who would have warned you you know by now what goes on at night when you're strung out make up another [...] pretend you know by now what goes up must come down in time
10.
it's a dance that I don't know it's a fear that I don't know how to put up with still reacting much too slow straight to bed when the alarm goes off honey let the record show I did everything I could and more to no end I'm a sucker for it still it's a trance that I don't know how to slip out of not good at letting go not good at letting go so it slips away inevitably and what do you what do you have left pick up be reasonable
11.
I wake up with you already on my mind touch things I only touch from time to time you can expect a call later you can expect it all later you're just a dream 'till then I hope that that's all right come this far just to blink twice dry eye's delight I'm liquid and the phone comes apart in my hand I'm sick with it but I have faith you'll understand maybe it's a lot for now maybe it's a lot you can expect a threat later I'll just need some pen and paper I haven't thought it through I hope that that's all right the last time we said good night I didn't mean it I didn't mean it I swear I swear I didn't mean it

credits

released June 23, 2016

All instruments played by Lee Meadvin except as noted below:

Harry Terrell- Drums (Tracks 1,2,4,6,7,8)
Connor Parks- Drums (Tracks 9,11)
Kalia Vandever- Trombone
Jasper Dutz- Bass Clarinet and Baritone Saxophone
Evan Lane- Trumpet
Mike Bliss- Alto and Soprano Saxophones and Flute

Recorded by Lee Meadvin and Jake Cheriff

Mixed and "Mastered" by Lee Meadvin

Huge thanks to Jake Cheriff for all kinds of help.

Art by Cameron Rasmussen

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Lee Meadvin Brooklyn, New York

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